Tag Archive: psychology


Dreams


Dreams have always been mysterious.. Some say they are just fairy tales without apparent logic; some say it tells about our past; some say it tells about our future; some say it tells about are present; and then some don’t say at all.. I have seen dreams vary from person to person. And then they make their own concept about what they see.. But some things are common..

Dreams have always intrigued me.. The way the brain works.. All the mysteries.. It’s all so alluring.. My interest in psyche and psychology has been from childhood.. Isn’t it fascinating?! As a child I used to wonder why I dreamt what I dreamt.. Some dreams were recurrent.. Most didn’t make any sense!!

As I grew up I did some reading, not much of a research you could say; just light reading.. And I was fascinated all the more! The other day I started reading “The Interpretation of Dreams” by Sigmund Freud. But I just started.. 😛 I was soon reminded that I had my whole life for reading such books, as for now I needed to concentrate on my academics! Yeah, right! You hear that so often, right!?? Lol 😀 .. Anyhow!

In a documentary I came to know that sometimes you dream about your work. Your mind perfects yourself when you sleep and dream. It’s said, anyhow, that REM (rapid eye movement) sleep is needed for consolidation of memory, mostly the memory of skill. You don’t believe all these humbug till you actually see it, do you?

But then it hits you like an epiphany! It’s not that you don’t see; you just don’t realize! I remember while I was posted in Medicine ward and was assigned to take innumerable blood samples of all the patients that the world could offer, I ended up having dreams wherein I saw myself taking blood samples from all the patients that the world could NOT offer! 😀 Unless you realize it, you’d say, “Man I’m so vexed doing this stupid work, that I even see it in my dreams now! How pathetic!” But when you realize, you understand that after that dream you actually became good at it.. You understand that you have been practicing it in your dreams! Amazing how the mind works! I poked so many careless needless into virtual patients in my dreams, only to make me good enough to do careful poking on the real ones! 😀

But then some dreams are not related to work.. You cannot place the dream.. And if anyone asks you what you saw, you have no answer! Because it’s not what you saw that mattered! It was what you felt!! That feeling.. That old familiar feeling.. That sways you. And it’s stuck with you even when you are awake! Maybe your conscious and logical mind tells you, “C’mon! it was just a dream, not real”, you can’t reason with yourself at times, can you? You are stuck with that “feeling”! Could be good, could be bad. As they say, dreams open the door to your subconscious mind. All those feelings of guilt, hatred, love, sadness, longing, etc. just comes out like that and gets you right there.

I used to listen to dreams of my friends. I had this idea of a dream. An analogy. I never came across such an analogy at the time I made it, so it was interesting how I made it.. 😛 And I am here to share. Our brain’s a kitchen! And everything we see from day to day consists of all the ingredients we need, even sometimes without our realizing it. Now when you sleep, your subconscious mind comes to life with all the ingredients it has, and it being the chef, of course! It starts cooking and offers it to you.. And it’s a wonderful chef with an uncanny sense of humor. It may take visual data from some and feelings data from some and mix it into a nice dish. That’s when you wake up seeing that you had gone on a date with some lovely movie actress (say Kate Winslet) whom have u seen a nice romantic movie (say Titanic) or being bashed by your most feared villain (say Amrish Puri) for not doing your homework. 😀 Though at time your chef actually takes proper ingredient with proper feelings and makes them so real, that at times you can’t tell apart dream from reality. Isn’t it? 🙂 So, as I used to listen to the dreams of my friends, I used to ask them questions, and always found some link or the other.. But you may still ask WHY?? Why dream some things at some times and some at other. I guess some do have answers, while some don’t. I want to know so much more about dreams, don’t you? Readers, you are free to comment with suggestions of some good books or documentaries that you might have come across.. 🙂 I’d go through them when I’m done with “academics” :-\.. 😀 Thank you for reading. 🙂 See you soon. 🙂

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Sieving My Thoughts


Just another day, I was standing by my terrace room door. There’s a construction going on the opposite side of the road. There’s this man. He’s sitting with a 1m by 2m sieve and a garden spade.. The sieve is inclined against the outer wall of the building. There’s a heap of sand just half a meter away from where the man was working.

Using a bigger spade he throws some sand on the sieve. He sits down on one side of the sieve and uses the garden spade to sift the sand. The coarse particle remains on his side of the sieve and the finer particles of sand form a small heap on the other side of the sieve.

On the other side of the sieve, mimicking his dad, is a 3-4 year old boy, around 2 feet tall, looking all cute and adorable. On his countenance is the expression of a man who’s doing the most important thing the world could offer. I watch them work diligently sieving sand.

After sometime, the man got up, strolled away from their work area, took out a packet of guthka (chewing tobacco) and swallowed it down. His son, meanwhile still sieving sand, looked back at his role model just at that precise moment, but got back to sieving quicker than he had turned to look at his dad..

The man picked up the spade picked up some sand on the spade and asked his son, who was having the time of his life STANDING on the sieve and sieving the sand, to move from the sieve, as he was about to throw the next packet for sieving. The kid shows his hand to his father, asking him to stop, removes the coarse particles of the sand with his garden spade from the sieve, and then motions with his hand to his dad as if giving a green signal..!! The man waits patiently for his son to move. He’s too tired even to scold him it looks from where I stand. Or, perhaps, he was different from other dads. His son moves, and he gets back to his work.

Within few minutes, the man stands up and strolls inside the building being constructed. His obedient 3yr old diligently sieving the sand.

The kid stands up and looks around to see his dad missing.. He gets apprehensive for a while. That’s the first time I see a “child” on the countenance of this 3yr old. He looks as if he’s about to cry. But that countenance disappears quicker than it appeared. He goes to the heap of sand, throws his spade (like his dad had done just a while ago) on the sand. He looks around and sees a spent guthka packet lying on the ground. He picks it up. I cross my fingers. “Don’t!”, I want to shout. My voice stifled by the cold northwesterlies that hit me. He looks inside the packet, turn it over in his other palm and gulps the contents. He throws the packet with the attitude of self-importance; picks up the spade he had thrown into the sand; goes back to the sieve and starts sieving again…….

I close the door, the wind still in my veins chilling down my spine. I sit on my bed and close my eyes……

How do you think this child will grow?

How do you think Raja’s 2G scam gonna affect him?

How do u think 20% off for burgers at McDonald’s gonna help him?

How do u think home loans and education loans will help him?

What will his psychology be like?

How do you think he’ll perceive this world to be like?

I had so many questions in my head.. I felt so lost inside.. Am I the only one feeling so?

God! (contd.)


Hello.. Last blog I left at External Parent.

I came across this book “I’m OK, You’re OK” by Thomas A. Harris. It had in it
the concept of PAC (Parent- Adult- Child).. It’s a simplified version of
Superego-Ego-Id model of Transactional Analysis, proposed by Freud, made
especially for layman.

I’ll summarize it as:

Parent: it’s the part of a person that has been “taught”.. It mostly consists
of tradition, teachings, prejudices, etc.. Imagine it as a part of your
personality that stores information about what elders teach you.

Child: it’s the part that the child “feels”.. It mostly consists of all the
emotions like, anger, happiness, depression, guilt, creativity, etc..

Adult: it’s the part that analyses the data from Parent and Child and after
testing/processing the data it accepts or denies the data..

For example, you are taught that you shouldn’t touch boiling water.. This
data is stored in your Parent.. When you grow, your Adult develops. You touch a
bowl of boiling water and u feel pain.. Immediately the Adult accepts the Parent
data..

Similarly data from Child is accepted or rejected.. A child who has been
loved very much, will have a lot of data on feelings of love, and a child
DEPRIVED of love, won’t have that much data related to love, and would grow up
as a hard hearted person.

Thus, a healthy P-A-C keeps life running smoothly.. For more details, check
the books, I’m OK, You’re OK, Staying OK, Games People Play.

Now what’s an External Parent..?

The Parent (esp. the data accepted by the adult) always tell us throughout
our lives what we should do and what we shouldn’t. Like, we shouldn’t lie, we
should be humble, we should be truthful, we should respect elders, we shouldn’t
steal, etc. etc.

So, ultimately, we depend on he Parent to tell us what’s right and wrong..
Whenever you plan to do something wrong, the Child in you feels the same “guilt”
or “anxiety” that you had felt when you were young and you did something wrong
and your parents scolded you or punished you..

When things go wrong or right, you blame or congratulate the Parent in you
and the people responsible for shaping your Parent, like actual parents,
guardians, elder brother sisters, uncle aunts, teachers..

There’s a peculiar human tendency of externalizing their Parent.. As in,
humans sometimes make some other person responsible for their actions.. For
instance, you tell your friend to scold you if you don’t study properly.. After
you have externalized your Parent onto that friend of yours, your Child goes
crazy.. Because the Child can sometimes be crazy and is always kept under strict
check by the Parent or Adult.. Externalizing the Parent is an indication of a
weak Adult.. And now that you’ve successfully externalized your Parent too, the
Child feels free to do ANYTHING it wants.. If things go wrong, blame it on the
external Parent..

So, in the above example, after telling your friend to scold you if you don’t
study, you go on to play and have the time of your life, and you fail in your
exams, and then you come back to your friend and scold him/her that he/she
didn’t scold you enough, etc.. And I am sure you could relate to such other
examples, either being the one who externalized your Parent or had been the
Parent for someone else..

In the present society, God is this External Parent.. Externalizing your
parent, makes you feel LESS RESPONSIBLE for the issue at hand.. Like you say,
God is responsible for making this universe and stuff, He knows the future,
He’ll take care of everything, and YOU activate your Child in full mode and
“feel” that you’re not responsible for all the destruction that you’re doing..

This is what Man is doing nowadays.. Externalizing his Parent onto God, he
“feels” he’s not responsible for all the chaos and destruction that he’s causing
to Earth. He thinks he is not responsible for all the cruelty, all the killing,
massacre that he’s doing.. After doing bad things, Man looks at his External
Parent, “God”, to see if He punishes him.. But your external Parent can’t punish
you enough, can he.. Some who get punished enough, become reformed, while most
others continue their bully.

I don’t know if God exists or not.. Maybe he does.. But even if he does, I
don’t think even he’d want to be an External Parent for all of mankind….. and the most give-away proverb that supports this assumption is, “God helps them who help themselves”.

So, I think it’s time we started helping ourselves, rather than waiting for God to do miracles…..

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